


I'll Keep Holding On

by GaleTheSnail



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-08-16 10:16:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8098279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaleTheSnail/pseuds/GaleTheSnail
Summary: Mickey has been out of prison for three years after serving a 5-year prison sentence. He has taken that time to move near Svetlana in order to be closer to Yevgeny. After a run-in with Ian, Mickey has to decide whether or not to move on. Canon up until 6x01…AU after that.





	1. Chapter 1

Mickey's blood-shot eyes flew open at the piercing sound of the alarm clock on his phone. He motioned his hand around silently searching for the obtrusive noise that woke him from his sound sleep. While trying to master turning off the alarm with his eyes closed, Mickey opted instead to throw his phone across the room. That was a problem he could deal with in another ten minutes. Hoping to get a few more minutes in, Mickey buried his face into his pillow once more. Before drifting off into peaceful sleep, Mickey's body went still at the rumbling in the next room. Half of his body remained immersed in the warmth of his pillow while the other half tensed at the inevitable disturbance that was about to invade his room.

'Aww shit. Please let this little bastard stay asleep for just ten more minutes,' Mickey prayed silently.

Seconds after Mickey's thought was processed, he heard a thunder of footsteps coming towards his bedroom door. Before Mickey could even turn over and pretend to be asleep, his eight-year-old son Yevgeny lunged forward and tackled his dazed father.

"Dad! Dad! It's time to wake up! It's time to wake up!" Yevgeny yelled while jumping on top of his father.

"Alright. Alright you little shit. Take it easy," Mickey teased gently. Yevgeny was used to his father's sharp tongue and surly attitude; he knew it was done lovingly. It was part of the reason Yevgeny enjoyed torturing his father so much.

"So what's for breakfast dad? I want Captain Crunch!" Yevgeny said.

"Nah Yev, you have to eat up that granola shit your mom keeps buying. If she walks in this house and that box is still full, then we'll both be in a world of shit," Mickey reasoned.

"But daaadddddd, that stuff is gross. If we're both going to get into trouble when mom gets here, then why don't _you_ just eat the granola, and _I'll_ eat the Captain Crunch?" Yevgeny questioned cheekily.

"Because Svetlana isn't my mom smartass, and I don't have to do what she says. Except for when it comes to you…then I usually have to do everything she says," Mickey admitted with a roll of his eyes.

"Ok. Fine, but I only want a little bit," Yevgeny bargained.

"Fine. Whatever, squirt. Go hop in the shower, and I'll fix your cereal before your mom gets here."

Mickey watched with a sideways smile as Yevgeny hopped off of the bed and ran into the bathroom at full speed. Mickey wondered how he had gotten to this point. Three, very short, years ago Mickey was in a prison cell, on a hard bed, being awoken by the sound of either an asshole guard or his masturbating cellmate. Now, Mickey marveled at the fact that he had his own apartment, and the sound of his son just down the hall. Sure he had his fair share of problems; Svetlana was always bitching to him about something or other, his bed wasn't as big as he would like it to be, his job was kind of shitty, and he only got to see Yevgeny on weekends. All things considered though, Mickey was pretty happy. Over the course of the five years that Mickey was in prison he decided to go for his GED. It helped him deal with all of the fucking boredom he had to endure in prison…at least that's what he told himself. Mickey psyched himself up to mentally prepare for the day ahead.

"Hey, fartbox! Hurry up in there. Your mom will be here any min…," Mickey began before he was drowned out by a knock on the door.

"What did I tell you? The dragon lady is here now," Mickey shouted to Yevgeny as he opened the door to Svetlana.

"Is this how we start the day, Mickey? The dragon lady will not hesitate to set you on fire if you do not move from door," Svetlana threatened casually as she was already pushing past Mickey into the apartment.

"Calm down ice eyes. Dragon lady is a term of endearment in the states, like Sweet pea or Sugar Tits," Mickey joked.

"How about stumpy dick? Is that endearing term as well," Svetlana teased as Mickey flipped her off.

Despite how it may have appeared to other people, Mickey was glad to have Svetlana in his life. When he first went away, visiting with Svetlana and Yevgeny felt like a chore; his mind was preoccupied with a certain red head. However, when visits from Ian Gallagher dwindled with each passing week, visits from Svetlana and Yevgeny became more than a regular occurrence.

Mickey sought comfort in their visits. Watching changes in Yevgeny became a new preoccupation for Mickey. Seeing Yev's hair become darker, watching his teeth grow in, and even when he learned to walk all became milestones Svetlana made sure to share with Mickey. Even if Mickey had to trade off a stabbing here and there to please Svetlana, he was happy to do so in order to keep his regular visits with Yevgeny. Svetlana even refrained from bad mouthing Mickey in front of their son as he grew older. By the time Mickey stepped out of prison, he was welcomed with open arms by a 5-year old Yev. Svetlana even got him a job at the Quiznos she owned, and an apartment. Mickey knew Svetlana did it for Yevgeny more than for him, but his appreciation of her loyalty knew no end…of course, he wouldn't _tell_ her that.

"So why are you so early? The kid's still taking a shower," Mickey complained.

"I need to talk to you about Yevgeny's school," Svetlana began.

"Christ, what the fuck happened now? Did he punch another kid? With the last name Milkovich, Yev is always going to have a target on his back at that fucking school," Mickey began yelling.

"This is why we talk now. I want to change Yevgeny's school. There is nice private school very close to work where Yevgeny might do much better. A Milkovich has never been there so our son will actually have chance of not getting into trouble," Svetlana explained.

"A private school? You want to send my son to some hoity toity hole in the wall? They already look down on us at the public school. Do you really think that Yev is going to fit in with the lame ass kids at this place?" Mickey asked as he poured Yev's cereal absentmindedly.

"It won't be so bad. Yevgeny is extremely smart in school, and he can handle anything people throw at him. This is great opportunity for him. Anyway, I already spoke to the school about a transfer. You just have to take him there on Monday to settle paperwork," Svetlana explained.

"Wait, what? You transferred our son's school without even speaking with me? This is going to cost us a fuck-ton of money! Unless your pussy is spitting out gold coins now, something tells me he can't afford to go," Mickey spat angrily.

"When I speak with principal, he says that Yevgeny will be awarded scholarship. This is a good thing for all of us. Yevgeny will be close to work, away from kids who bully him, and he will have better education than both of his parents. Stop being a dumbass," Svetlana scolded.

"Fine, fine. Just don't keep me in the dark with shit like this. If you are going to make a decision for Yevgeny, at least let me know ahead of time. I'm surprised he didn't tell me himself. The little pisser never keeps anything from me," Mickey whined.

"He does not know this yet. This is also why I came to get him early. So we can tell him together," Svetlana admitted.

"Well what if I had said no to your plan?" Mickey complained.

"You act tough, but in the end you always do what's best for Yevgeny. I see you have poured him his granola cereal," Svetlana teased.

"Shut up," Mickey flipped Svetlana off for the second time that morning.

"Hey mom, you're early. Did you come to eat breakfast with us?" Yevgeny asked hopefully as he emerged from his bedroom.

"No, Yevvy. Your papa and I have to talk with you about your school," Svetlana softened as she turned to Yevgeny. "We think it would be best if you started going to a private school," Svetlana started.

"Easy with the 'we' shit," Mickey interrupted.

"The private school is so close to where momma and papa work. You will still get to see all of your friends, and you make new friends at new school," Svetlana reasoned.

"Do I have to wear some dumbass uniform?" Yevgeny questioned sullenly.

"Yes, but it won't be so bad," Svetlana added with a glare at Mickey to say something.

"Look Yev, since you'll be so close to where we work, we can see each other every day," Mickey piped in.

With that, Yevgeny started beaming.

Mickey found himself walking side by side with Yevgeny as they approached his new private school. Mickey silently mourned the fact that Yevgeny had reached the age where he no longer wanted to hold his father's hand in public.

"So while you're in this new school, you keep the cursing at a minimum. I don't want these shitheads to think we raised you the wrong way," Mickey warned.

"Don't worry dad, this is going to be awesome. My friend Tony who lives down the street from mom's place goes here and he says that you can get away with practically anything at this school," Yevgeny whispered excitedly.

"No kid. You're not getting away with _shit_ at this school. The whole purpose of you going here is so you don't become a fuck up like your dad. Be good to your teachers and I better not here a word of you cutting up while you're in this school. "

"Alright, dad. Jesus," Yevgeny whined as they walked into the main office. Mickey silently cursed as he noticed his words were already earning him glares from who he assumed were teachers and secretaries.

"Hey. I'm here to sign my kid Yevgeny Milkovich up for school here. His mom said she already spoke with the principal. I'm just here to sign some paperwork," Mickey explained in what he felt was a polite manner to the rigid old bat who was already eyeing the tattoos on his hands.

"Oh, yes we've been expecting you. My name is Mrs. Johnson, and I'm the school administrative assistant. Principal Sampson will be out to meet with you in just a moment."

"Alright. Thanks. Have a seat squirt," Mickey gestured Yevgeny toward one of the chairs across the room.

Before they could make their way over, Mickey was surprised by a booming, jovial voice.

"You must be Mr. and little Yevgeny Milkovich!" the principal greeted excitedly. Mickey tried his best to hide his loathing as he pictured the principal as a Sesame Street reject.

"Yeah, how you doin'? Feel free to call me Mickey," he offered as he shook the principal's hand.

"You can call me Yev, and I'm not that little. I'll be taller than my dad in a few years," Yevgeny piped up.

"Alright, easy there squirt. Let's get you through the third grade first," Mickey smiled down at Yevgeny.

"Well Mr. Mickey, I've already spoken with your lovely wife about registering Yev here. I'll tell you what, all we need is a few signatures from you. Why don't we take a tour first?" the principal offered up with a smile.

"Yeah, sounds good man. Let's just make it quick."

"So now that you have seen the majority of the school Mr. Milkovich, do you have any questions or concerns?" the principal asked.

"Well a school looks pretty much the same wherever you go so I can't really say I have a question right now." Mickey answered trying to keep on a positive face in front of Yev.

"Sounds good. Well then, Yevgeny's class is currently in gym right now, but this is a good chance to meet his teacher. His classroom is just up ahead."

The principal led the way as Mickey followed behind Yevgeny with his hands on his shoulders. Yevgeny looked up to make faces at Mickey as they walked into the classroom. Mickey was focused on sticking his tongue out at Yevgeny when he vaguely heard the principal introduce Yevgeny's teacher Mr. Gallagher.

"….Mr. Gallagher, this is Yevgeny Milkovich, and his father Mr. Mickey Milkovich." Mickey's heart felt as though it dropped to his stomach and his smile faded as he saw a flash of red hair and registered the name. For a moment, piercing blue eyes stared back at clear blue ones as Mickey and Ian saw each other for the first time in eight years.

Yevgeny noticed the change in his father's demeanor by the tight grip he now held on his shoulders. Yevgeny took this as a cue to be nice to his new teacher. He shook loose from his father's grip and bounded forward to Ian.

"Hi, Mr. Gallagher. I'm Yevgeny, but you can just call me Yev for short. You don't have to worry about me catching up to the other students. I was already the smartest one at my last school, and I know how to take care of myself. We're going to get along just fine. I have a good feeling about this," Yevgeny reassured confidently.

Ian smiled down at the eight-year-old whom he hadn't seen since he was a baby. "I have a good feeling about this too, Yev. I don't doubt your brilliance," Ian retorted keeping his eyes fixed on Yevgeny.

"Hey dad, my teacher's name is Gallagher just like your tattoo. Except it looks like it's spelled differently." Yevgeny said as he pointed to Ian's name plate on his desk.

Mickey flushed slightly as his hand went instinctively to the tattoo he had over his heart. Mickey frowned as he thought about that fucking tattoo that prompted nothing but awkward questions from prisoners, the random hook-ups he'd had over the last three years, his current boyfriend, and worst of all Yevgeny. The first night Svetlana let Yev stay at Mickey's place after he had gotten out of prison was filled with Yev asking all about 'Ian Galager.' Mickey lied and told Yev that Ian Galager was the name of his favorite writer. 'He must have been really important to you if you have a tattoo of his name where you can see it every day,' Yev insisted. As Mickey remembered that conversation, he felt a swell of bitterness and anger surge through him.

"Are you okay dad? I was nice like you said," Yevgeny questioned.

Mickey looked up to find Yevgeny and Principal Sampson looking at him curiously. Mickey took notice that the only one not to meet his eyes was Ian who was determinedly looking at the floor. "Yeah, I'm fine squirt. You did a really good job."

"I've got an idea, how about I take Yevgeny here down to the gym so he can be with the rest of his class? This will give you a chance to ask Mr. Gallagher any questions you might have about how his classroom runs. When I get back, we'll go ahead and sign the paperwork. Sound good?" Before waiting for an answer, Principal Sampson was already leading Yevgeny out of the door. Mickey heard a quick 'bye dad' from Yevgeny, and shouted a "Have a good day" to the back of Yev's head as he rushed excitedly out the door.

Mickey stood for a few moments with his back to Ian. Instead of turning around, Mickey began walking towards the closed door.

"Wait, Mickey. Hold on, please," Ian asked. Mickey thought he heard an edge of desperation in his voice, but shook it off in disbelief.

"What Gallagher?" Mickey asked trying to keep the edge out of his voice as he finally turned around to face Ian.

"I just…I just wanted….Well do you have any questions for me?" Ian asked with wide eyes. Mickey softened slightly at the sight of Ian. He was instantly reminded of a 15 year old Ian using those eyes to beg Mickey for any kind of reassurance that he cared. Mickey was always sure that look would be the death of him. Now, Mickey felt his anger rise again before he could give in to those goddamn beautiful eyes.

"Yeah, actually I do have a question for you. Are you on something?"

"What?" Ian asked with genuine confusion.

"Are you taking your fucking meds? I swear to God, if you pull any of that crazy shit around Yev now, we're going to have a fucking problem firecrotch," Mickey warned.

In spite of the situation, Ian smiled at the continued use of his not-so-complimentary nickname. "Yes, Mickey I promise you. I found the right balance of medications years ago. I have never done anything 'crazy' in front of a student, and I would never ever do anything to hurt Yevgeny. You don't have to worry," Ian responded calmly.

Apparently satisfied with that answer, Mickey turned to leave again before he was stopped in his tracks. "Mickey, don't leave," Ian begged again.

"What Gallagher? What is it that you want from me?" Mickey snapped.

"Nothing, I just….I wanted to ask how you've been….If everything is ok? If…." Ian stopped short. He wanted to ask so much more, but he knew now was not the time to press his luck.

"Everything is peachy fuckin' keen Gallagher. I'm out of jail, I got a job, and I have Yevgeny. I have everything I need," Mickey insisted.

"What work are you doing these days?" Ian asked warily, remembering the schemes Mickey would concoct.

"I'm a manager at the Quiznos up the street, and I work part time as a mechanic. So if you need a sandwich and your car fixed I'm your guy," Mickey said curtly.

"Well, you always were my guy for everything," Ian blurted without thinking.

Mickey looked up in surprise at Ian's comment. He hadn't been Ian's 'guy' in a very long time, but the memories he held of being with Ian were still vivid. Mickey had to admit that the years had been kind to Ian. He was still tall and lean. His red hair and freckles still clashed perfectly with his translucent, pale skin. Mickey's eyes rested on Ian's rosy lips; those lips that brought him endless joy whether they were wrapped warmly around his stiff cock, nibbling at his neck, or pressed against his own lips begging to be closer. Mickey's heart started to race as he tried and failed to shake the image of Ian's glorious naked body. Despite his anger, the urge to have Ian bend him over the desk and pound into him relentlessly was surging with each passing second. Mickey was saved from his own thoughts by Ian clearing his throat.

"Sorry, I just meant…it's good to see you Mickey. I'm happy to hear you're doing well," Ian finished lamely.

"Yeah, whatever Gallagher. Just don't bring up the fact that we know each other to Yevgeny. The only thing he should be hearing from you is about his school assignments and shit. Otherwise, stay away. You're good at that anyway," Mickey said coldly.

Ian looked stung at Mickey's harsh words, but before he could respond, the door was swung open by the ever cheerful Principal Sampson. "Well Mr. Milkovich, Yevgeny seems to be fitting right in with the rest of his classmates. He's a pistol that one," the principal added good-naturedly.

"Yeah, I guess he is," Mickey stated trying, once again, not to roll his eyes. "Look, can we get this paperwork thing going already? I need to be at work soon," Mickey said pointedly.

"Right you are Mr. Milkovich. Let's just head to my office and we'll have you out of here in two shakes of a tail feather."

"Right." Mickey responded. Without another word, Mickey turned again to head out of the door. As he stepped over the threshold, Mickey heard a faint "Goodbye, Mr. Milkovich." Mickey couldn't tell if the voice was sad, angry, or apathetic. As he closed the door, Mickey willed himself not to care either way.


	2. I'll Keep Holding On Ch. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey freaks out after his encounter with Ian

Mickey paced up and down the alley behind the Quiznos he was managing. He had walked in 15 minutes late and earned a glare from his employees when he immediately left through the back door without a word; a pack of cigarettes in hand. Cigarette butts surrounded his feet as Mickey grabbed his phone out of his pocket to call his sister Mandy. Mandy had, thankfully, moved back to Chicago while Mickey was still in prison. After one too many trips to the hospital because of her abusive boyfriend, Mandy wised up and came back home. Once Mickey got out of jail, Mandy moved into a two bedroom apartment with a friend five minutes away from him.

"What the fuck do you want Mick? You know I'm asleep this early in the morning," Mandy complained.

"Good morning to you too sunshine. Wake your lazy ass up. I need to talk to you," Mickey said hurriedly.

"Lazy? You know I have work later shithead," Mandy snapped angrily.

"Oh give me a fucking break. Just because you were up late blowing guys doesn't mean I have sympathy for your sleep schedule. Now tell me, have you been keeping in touch with Ian?" Mickey questioned.

"Ian? Ian Gallagher?"

"No, Ian McKellen. Of course I mean Ian Gallagher! How many fucking Ian's do we both know?" Mickey snapped.

"Calm your tits, fuckwad. No, I haven't heard from Ian since I left. I tried to get in touch with him when I came back, but he wasn't around the old neighborhood anymore. I heard he's a teacher or some shit on the north side," Mandy explained.

"You heard? Heard from who? And why didn't you feel the need to say anything to me about it?" Mickey whined.

"I don't remember who I heard it from, and I didn't tell you because bringing up Ian's name is like saying Voldemort around you. Any time someone mentions him, you get all hysterical. I figured you wouldn't want to know. Why are you asking now?"

"Guess who Yevgeny's new teacher is."

"You're shitting me! You saw Ian? How is he?" Mandy asked excitedly.

"How the fuck should I know? I went up there to sign Yev up for school. I didn't have time to chit chat with raggedy Anne," Mickey explained.

"So, let me get this straight, you run into the love of your life after eight years, and you had nothing to say to him?" Mandy questioned curiously.

"You can shove that 'love of my life' bullshit up your ass. I moved on a long time ago. There was nothing to say. I don't give a shit about the stupid redhead," Mickey declared taking one last drag on his cigarette.

"Then why are you calling me now to ask about him," Mandy countered. Mickey could just see the smug grin on her face as she spoke.

"Shut up. I have to get to work," Mickey finished as he hung up on her quickly.

The rest of the day passed without incident. Mickey was so busy at the restaurant, he only thought of Ian six times instead of every minute of the day like he thought he would. Mickey took surprisingly well to being a manager. The first year out of prison he had to resign himself to making sandwiches for Svetlana's idiot customers. Any time he had to deal with one of the smug assholes that came in, he would just grit his teeth and remember that it was much better than any job his parole officer would come up with.

The second Svetlana saw that Mickey was willing to pay his dues, she moved him up to manager. Mickey certainly had experience leading a group, but he was a bit more used to guns and knives than lettuce and tomatoes. Still, his job paid the bills, made Svetlana happy, and kept him out of trouble.

As Mickey arrived home, he was greeted by a pleasant sight. Taylor, his boyfriend of six months, was inside waiting for him stretched across the couch. The first two and a half years Mickey spent out of jail were all about surviving. All Mickey could think about was keeping his head above water and trying to make a life for Yevgeny. He ventured out to the local bars for the occasional back alley romp or bathroom quickie, but there was no one that he felt was worthy of coming into his world. When Taylor started coming into the auto place where Mickey worked part time, he was completely oblivious to his stares and flirtatious conversation. When Taylor started bringing his car in every other day for windshield checks and other nonsense repairs, Mickey finally started taking the hint.

Taylor was a tall, lean, rugged blonde. Mickey never thought for a second he would be in a relationship with a Mads Mikkelsen look-a-like, but he quickly found out that Taylor could hold his own in Southside. Taylor was a no-nonsense graphic designer who didn't flinch when Mickey told him about his past. Taylor made it very clear that he had been through his own shady past but now he had no room for drama in his life; Mickey was happy to oblige. Mickey slowly but surely opened up, and allowed Taylor to soften the hard shell that he had become. After a couple of months, Mickey had even introduced him to Yevgeny. Things finally seemed to be settling down in his life.

After such a surreal day, Mickey was happy to grab a beer and settle in next to Taylor. However, his mind could not stop from flashing to thoughts of Ian. As they watched TV, Mickey could only picture the clear blue eyes and stark red hair that used to haunt his every thought in prison.

"Hey, what's up with you Gizmo? You seem more tense and brooding than usual, and I didn't think that was possible," Taylor jokingly asked.

"Ah, it's nothing. I just uhhh…" Mickey hesitated.

"What happened? Is Svetlana giving you shit again about keeping Yev over for a few extra days?" Taylor questioned.

"No, no. It's really nothing. I just ran into somebody today that I haven't seen for a while," Mickey answered evading Taylor's curious eyes.

"Who did you see? Was it your dad?" Taylor pried apprehensively.

"No, nothing like that. I just ran into my ex, Ian this morning," Mickey admitted as he stole a quick glance at Taylor. Mickey could not gauge Taylor's expressionless face.

"Ian?" Taylor asked blankly. "Tattoo Ian?"

"Yes, that Ian," Mickey responded exasperatedly. "Look, I don't want to get into a whole fuckin' conversation about it. I just thought I should tell you because he's going to be Yev's teacher at this new school. It's not a big deal, so let's just nip this in the bud before it becomes a thing alright."

"What do you mean 'before it becomes a thing' Mick? It's already a thing! We can't even have sex without the reminder of your ex-boyfriend permanently attached to you! It was one thing when all I had to worry about was a stupid, impulsive tattoo, but now I have to worry about the actual person too?" Taylor stressed as he bounded from the couch onto his feet.

"You don't have to worry about shit Ty. Why would I tell you about it if something was going to happen? I've told you before, and I will tell you again…I moved on from Ian a long time ago. We're not going to keep having this conversation. This tattoo means nothing to me…..Ian means nothing to me. So just relax." Mickey reassured.

"If it doesn't mean anything then get it removed," Taylor suggested.

"You know I can't afford that. I barely have enough to take care of myself, Yevgeny, and this shithole apartment. Where exactly do you think I'm going to get the money for a tattoo removal?" Mickey questioned angrily.

"I'll pay for it myself. It's a small price to pay to make this little threesome a twosome finally," Taylor offered.

"When did you get to be such a jealous little bitch? I didn't say I wanted to blow him. I just said he is going to be Yevgeny's teacher. He is no more involved in our lives than that," Mickey noted.

"I'm not being jealous, I'm being practical. Judging by the tattoo and what _you've_ told me, this guy really did a number on you. There's no room for both of us in your life. I'm just trying to protect you," Taylor said.

"I don't need you to protect me alright? I know how to take care of myself," Mickey said coldly.

"Alright tough guy. Call me when you're not acting like a completely obtuse asshole," Taylor said as he walked out of the door.

Mickey rolled his eyes and slumped back down on the couch after he watched Taylor walk away. His hands raked down over his face in exasperation. Mickey thought he would be able to handle himself if Ian ever came back into his life. Things were already going to hell in a handbasket, and Ian hadn't even been back in the picture for 24 hours.

Mickey spent close to an hour chain smoking and trying to figure out how he would make it up to Taylor. After several phone calls went straight to voicemail, and his texts went unanswered, Mickey was surprised to hear a knock at the door.

"I knew you'd be back you little bit….what the fuck are you doing here?" Mickey asked abruptly.

"Still the same old charming Mickey I see," Ian replied with a shy smile. "I'm guessing you were expecting someone else?"

Mickey quickly recovered from the shock of seeing Ian again so soon, "well, what can I say? I'm a classic," Mickey deadpanned. "What are you doing here?" Mickey asked again.

"Well I was just at Fiona's, so I thought I would stop on by and see my old pal Mickey," Ian answered with a smirk. Mickey stared back blank-faced.

"I asked around to a few people about where you lived. I just wanted to see if we could clear the air…." Ian began.

"Clear the air? We haven't spoken in eight years Gallagher. I haven't been looking for you and you haven't been looking for me so I'd say the air is pretty goddamn clear from here," Mickey explained.

"Right, I guess that was a poor choice of words. Look Mickey, I love my job. Now that Yevgeny is in my class I don't want there to be any problems. I want us to get along for the sake of Yevgeny."

"Problems? Are you fuckin' serious right now. The way I remember it, you would always show up at _my_ doorstep with a problem. Actually, it was very similar to you coming to my door right now. I guess some things don't ever change," Mickey remarked coldly.

Ian shook his head in frustration, "That didn't come out the way I meant it. I didn't mean that you were the problem…Huhhhh, can I come in for a minute?" Ian sighed. Mickey looked apprehensive for a moment. He wanted to slam the door in Ian's face, or punch him and throw him down the hallway. However, all he could think to do was stand back from the door and let Ian in.

"Have a seat," Mickey said as he gestured to the couch he and Taylor were occupying just an hour before. Mickey strolled into the kitchen.

"Do you want a beer Gallagher?" Mickey asked.

"Yeah, thanks," Ian replied. Mickey grabbed two beers from the kitchen and handed one to Ian. Instead of sitting next to him, Mickey made his way back to the doorway of the kitchen to stand and face Ian. They sat in awkward silence for a few moments before Mickey spoke up.

"Well, you came all the way over here and asked to come in. I was thinking you may have had something more to say," Mickey said more harshly than he meant to.

"You would have thought this would be a little more planned out, but I'm having some trouble coming up with the words Mick," Ian admitted.

"You know what I always liked about you Gallagher, is that you always had the balls to say how you felt all of the time. I hate to see you lose that," Mickey said.

"Yeah well, I'm not exactly the same person Mick," Ian sighed. "All I wanted to say Mickey…..is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way that we left things all those years ago. I never meant to hurt you. Between my bipolar disorder, my crazy family, our volatile relationship, and just being 17, I just didn't know how to handle things back then. Apparently, I don't know how to handle them now either," Ian joked.

"Yeah, no shit," Mickey said with a begrudging smirk.

"I never seem to know the right words with you Mickey; you've always had a weird effect on me," Ian admitted.

"I know the feeling," Mickey replied.

For a few moments the two just stared at each other. There was so much Mickey wanted to say to the man standing just two feet from him, but he was at a loss for words. He hadn't expected an apology, and he wasn't sure how he felt about the one he just received. Looking at Ian, Mickey suddenly felt a heavy feeling in his chest that he couldn't quite place.

The sound of Mickey's phone ringing startled both Ian and Mickey back into reality. Mickey grabbed his phone from his kitchen table and saw Taylor's face looking up at him. A wave of guilt washed over him as he pressed ignore and set his phone down. As he turned back to face Ian, he saw the tall redhead stand up and walk towards the door.

"I hope we can be friends Mick. It was really good to see you again." Without another word, Ian opened the door and walked away. Mickey stared at the closed door feeling more confused than he had in years. Not knowing what else he could take today, Mickey went to his room, collapsed on the bed, and slept.


	3. I'll Keep Holding On Ch. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian face an awkward meeting at Yevgeny's school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who commented or enjoyed the previous chapters. I don't know if I love or hate this chapter, but it's necessary for the story progression. Warning: Explicit sex scenes. Hope you enjoy. Feel free to read and review.

Ian adjusted the volume on his iPod as he ran his tenth lap around the track. He tried to control his breathing to a steady level as he felt his leg muscles begin to strain. For what felt like the thousandth time, he was replaying the two conversations he had with Mickey Milkovich in the past week over in his mind. Seeing Mickey again left him with a car crash of emotions. The wreckage was so gargantuan that he didn’t know what to feel first, or which emotion was the strongest. All he could think of was Mickey turning away from him when they saw each other again after eight years. The hostility Mickey exuded toward him was not surprising, but the sinking feeling Ian had was a bit of a jolt. Ian ran faster as he thought about the way things were left between him and Mickey. The sinking feeling returned as Ian picked up the pace a bit more. Ian’s thoughts were racing faster than he could keep up with them. Images of the heart-wrenching look on Mickey’s face when he said that it was over between them and the tragically hopeful eyes he gave Ian at the prison during their last visit all flashed through Ian’s mind. Ian couldn’t run fast enough to escape the swelling feeling in his heart. He slowed to a stop at the chain link fence next to the track as hot tears escaped his eyes. ‘Fucking Mickey isn’t back in my life for a week and already he’s causing destruction,’ Ian thought to himself. Ian angrily dried his tears walking off of the track and towards his car. The swirling mix of emotions Ian was feeling were all coming to a head. The guilt of leaving Mickey alone in prison; the anger he felt at Mickey for hating him; the regret of not being able to see Yevgeny grow up; and the sadness at the void Mickey left in his life since the breakup all expanded inside him and left a bad taste in his mouth. Ian felt as though he could barely breathe as he drove towards his apartment. What he needed from Mickey was true closure; one conversation to explode on each other and get all of their feelings out. The next day would be back to school night. ‘I’ll just ask him if we can meet and settle things once and for all,’ Ian thought to himself. The vice grip he had on his steering wheel lessened at the thought of he and Mickey actually being friends.

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Mickey balanced his beer bottle on his forehead as he sat back on his couch. He figured the longer he laid here with his eyes closed, the longer it would be before he had to contribute to his mixed up life. Not only was he pissed off at Taylor for not returning any of his phone calls, but in just twelve short hours he would have to get dressed for the back to school night in Yevgeny’s class. Mickey certainly was not psyched to get the stare down of disapproval from an entirely new group of parents and teachers, but for Yevgeny he would walk into any battlefield and stare right back. It was the daunting thought of having to face Ian again after his apology that made his anxiety rise. Mickey hated to admit to himself that the thought of seeing Ian after their last conversation had him dreading the upcoming event. Mickey could handle hostility or anger, but the awkwardness between he and Ian felt like too much to handle. Mickey peeled at the label on the bottle, upset that he didn’t have work to distract him today. His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Mickey set his beer down and sauntered over to answer.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Mickey asked Taylor as he stood sheepishly in the doorway. “I’ve been calling your ass for close to a week and you don’t have the time to pick up the phone shithead?” Mickey asked angrily.

“Are you gonna let me in or not?” Taylor asked quietly.

Mickey rolled his eyes and moved to the side as Taylor pressed passed him.

“I’m only going to tell you one time, if you pull that shit again don’t bother coming over,” Mickey warned Taylor.

“You don’t think I had a good reason to stay away, Mickey? Because from where I sit, it might be a really good thing that we didn’t speak. I may not have been able to take back what I wanted to say to you,” Taylor answered sternly.

“What the fuck is your problem Ty? There doesn’t need to be an issue here, so don’t go making things up. What is it that you wanted to say? You might as well get it off of your chest,” Mickey braced, ready for Taylor to say they were done.

Taylor stormed over to Mickey, looking directly in his eyes while carefully contemplating his next words. “I love you. You know I do. So if I see you pulling away from me you know I’m going to have something to say about it,” Taylor responded.

“No one’s pulling away dumbass. Get that through your head. There isn’t anyone who can come between us,” Mickey said as his body relaxed slightly. Mickey put his hand up to caress Taylor’s cheek gently. I understand what you’re saying Ty. Really I do, but for the past six months, the time that we’ve spent together has meant a lot to me,” Mickey reassured as he stroked Taylor’s cheek with his thumb. Taylor moved in closer to grip the nape of Mickey’s neck. Mickey grabbed Taylor’s face and pulled him into a searing kiss. Their tongues battled for dominance as Mickey began peeling off Taylor’s shirt. Taylor made quick work of the button on Mickey’s jeans as they slid off with ease. Taylor pulled back hungrily from the kiss as he pushed Mickey up against the wall of the living room. Mickey finished kicking off his stubborn jeans as Taylor lightly bit his ear and stroked his swelling cock. Mickey reached his hand back, desperate to feel more of Taylor’s warm embrace. Taylor moved his hand to caress Mickey’s supple ass. He slowly slipped one finger inside of Mickey as he gripped the wall. One finger suddenly became two as Taylor tortuously slid his digits in and out of Mickey’s sensitive hole. Mickey whimpered in pleasure as he felt Taylor’s warm breath on the back of his neck. Taylor leaned in closely as Mickey tried not to make a sound.

“You belong to me. Do you understand, Mickey?” Taylor questioned against Mickey’s ear. “Any time you talk to that ginger piece of shit you better be thinking of the way I make you cum,” Taylor warned as he slipped a third finger through Mickey’s crevice. Mickey groaned in response to Taylor’s taunting and teasing.

“Think of how I stroke your dick every night. How I can suck you dry at a moment’s notice. Think about every time that I dig you out until you scream my name over and over. Every time you look at him, I want you to think about how I make you feel Mickey. Never forget it,” Taylor finished as he slowly removed his fingers from Mickey’s channel. Mickey could barely catch his breath before Taylor replaced his fingers with his slick, hard cock. As Mickey clutched at the wall, all thoughts of Ian fled his brain. He allowed his mind to be free if only for the next few minutes. Mickey knew he’d have to face Ian again, but for now the enigmatic redhead had no place in his world.

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Ian shuffled the ungraded grammar homework on his desk for the fourth time. As the kids began to dash back in from recess, Ian forced himself to focus. He put on his best version of a winning smile as all of the kids filed into their seats. Only Yevgeny was left standing as he bee lined to Ian’s desk.

“So Mr. Gallagher, about this back to school night thing, is there going to be any beer or good refreshments? I don’t want my dad to waste his time coming if there’s just going to be a bunch of lame cookies and punch,” Yevgeny said.

Ian couldn’t help the smirk that formed on his face. “No, we’re not going to have any beer Yev. Besides, I’m sure your dad will be happy just to come and hear how well you’re doing in class; even if there is nothing else but a bunch of lame punch and cookies,” Ian reassured.

“I don’t think you know my dad Mr. Gallagher. He would come here and roll his eyes at a stuffy place like this unless he had a nice cold beer to relax him. Can we make this a BYOB?” Yevgeny questioned innocently.

“Absolutely not Yev. From what I can tell, your dad will have a good time as long as you’re having a good time. I’m sure we can keep him entertained for a few hours while we go through everything,” Ian pacified.

“Ok, Mr. Gallagher, if you say so. I’m counting on you though. Can you keep an eye out for my dad and make sure he’s having a good time? I like to mess with him, but I really want him to see how good I’m doing so far,” Yevgeny asked.

“I promise Yev. I’ll keep an eye on your dad. You have my word,” Ian promised.

“Great, thanks Mr. Gallagher!”

“Alright, no problem. Go have a seat Yev. We’re about to start our grammar lesson,” Ian smiled as his eyes followed Yevgeny to his seat. Ian couldn’t get over how much Yevgeny took after his father. He was so matter-of-fact, gruff, and business-like, but very innocent and vulnerable as well. It was pretty scary…and funny. Yevgeny was growing up to be such a spectacular kid, and Ian had missed so much of it. Ian felt like an outsider looking in on the Milkoviches, and he couldn’t ignore the bittersweet feeling that it left him. Ian shook his head to try and get rid of the regrets of his past. He had a new mission tonight, and that was to make sure Mr. Mickey Milkovich was as happy as possible. It was a small goal, but one Ian thought he could manage.

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Mickey unbuttoned and re-buttoned the top of his collar dress shirt for what felt like the hundredth time. Svetlana, Mickey, and Yevgeny all walked down the hallway of the school towards Yevgeny’s classroom.

“Why do you look so sick? Are you going to be able to pull it together for Yevgeny’s class or what?” Svetlana questioned Mickey.

“Are you ok dad? Do you need something to eat?” Yevgeny asked.

“I’m fine squirt. I’m just a little tired, that’s all,” Mickey reassured Yevgeny as he gave the side eye to Svetlana.

“I’m actually kind of excited…” Svetlana began to smirk. “It has been a very long time since I have seen orange boy,” Svetlana teased while glancing at Mickey.

“Who the hell is orange boy?” Yevgeny questioned.

“Look, can we just get this shit over with already?” Mickey questioned loudly. As they approached the classroom, the three were met with stares from a few disapproving parents who had clearly overheard Mickey’s last statement.

Ian gave a small smile to Mickey and Svetlana before nervously walking up to shake their hands. “Hello, how are you this evening? Welcome to Back to School Night. We appreciate you being able to come out and support Yevgeny. Feel free to look around the classroom at the different projects that we have completed so far this year. We’re just waiting a few more minutes for some of the other parents to arrive and then we’ll go ahead and get started on what we have planned for the rest of the school year,” Ian said quickly, avoiding Mickey’s eyes. Mickey got the feeling this was around the thousandth time Ian had to repeat those words.

“Sure Mr. Gallagher. I am very curious to see what you have been teaching our little Yevgeny,” Svetlana smiled coyly at Ian as she playfully ruffled Yevgeny’s hair.

“Mom, stooooppp. Everyone’s going to think I’m a mama’s boy,” Yevgeny whispered to Svetlana. “Come look at my desk and see all of the cool things I’m doing. Later, I’m going to read this essay I wrote on what I want to be when I grow up. It got one of the best grades in the class,” Yevgeny said excitedly. After one quick glance at Ian, Mickey was happy for the distraction as Yevgeny dragged both he and Svetlana away from Ian and toward the back of the classroom.

As promised, the last of the parents arrived and Ian clapped his hands to signal that they were about to get started. “Alright ladies and gentleman, boys and girls let us begin. Unfortunately, not all of the parents could be here tonight, but I would like to thank the parents who were able to come out…” Ian began to address the classroom. Mickey noticed as Ian talked on, how natural he seemed in front of the class. Ian was confident and charming. He could see these hipsters were lapping up every word Ian had to say. Mickey smirked to himself; little did they know their precious Mr. Gallagher used to rip people like them off for a few extra bucks. Now he was molding their children’s minds. What a difference nearly a decade makes on a person. Mickey realized he had no room to talk considering he was shoulder to shoulder with this crowd looking for the same perks for his kid as anyone else. So much had changed, but he couldn’t help but to hold out a little admiration for Ian. Ian always had a certain innocence and kindness to him. It made him irresistible to Mickey back in the day. Now, it made him an excellent teacher.

“…so now some of the students we have here tonight have volunteered to read their essays to the class. Do we have any volunteers to go first?” Ian questioned the few shy 3rd graders he had before him. “Right here Mr. G!” Yevgeny burst from his seat, pulling a paper from his desk. “Alright, Yevgeny enthusiastic as always. I thought you had an excellent essay. Just say your name and the subject of your essay. Whenever you are ready you can start,” Ian finished with a kind smile.

“Hey everyone. My name is Yevgeny Milkovich. I go by Yev for short. Nobody calls me Yevgeny except for my mom and Mr. Gallagher,” Yevgeny began earning a chuckle from some of the other parents. “My essay is on what I want to be when I grow up. ‘I want to be just like my dad, Mickey Milkovich. He is cool, tough, hardworking, and does whatever he wants. After getting out of prison, my dad has been working as hard as he can to make a good life for our family. Even though my parents don’t like each other anymore, they still work together and give me lots of cool stuff. When I grow up, I want to be the boss of my own business, and have people look up to me and respect me like they do my dad. He tells me to work hard, study, and not take any crap from anyone.’ He actually says don’t take any shit from anyone, but I had to clean it up for school,” Yevgeny clarified.

“Yevgeny you are still in school so do not curse,” Svetlana warned him while Mickey’s cheeks turned pink.

“Alright, alright ma. Let me finish my essay. Anyway, ‘to me growing up means becoming an adult and taking care of important responsibilities. I want to be a good person, smart, strong, honest, loyal, and caring like my dad. If I listen to him, I know I will grow up to be awesome too.’ Thank you,” Yevgeny finished confidently. Yevgeny’s essay was met with awkward, but polite applause. Mickey had to take in a few breaths to hold back the moisture threatening to escape his eyes. He gave Yevgeny a big smile and pulled him into a playful hug. Mickey was slightly embarrassed to have the other parents have a confirmed idea about him being in prison, but this was overshadowed by the pride he felt after Yevgeny’s essay. Those other parents could bite his balls as far as he was concerned. He had never felt more joy than in that moment when his little squirt admitted that he was proud of his father.

“That was fantastic Yevgeny. Thank you. Do we have any other volunteers?” Ian asked the class. As a few of Yevgeny’s classmates stood up to read their papers, Mickey sat back reeling from Yevgeny’s essay. Most of the time Mickey felt like a loser because of the way his life turned out. No one ever bragged about being the manager of a fast food sandwich place, or struggling to pay the bills, but for now Yevgeny thought he was cool. As Mickey sat there pretending to listen to the boring ass kids in Yevgeny’s class read their essays, he couldn’t resist a glance at Ian out of the corner of his eye. Mickey had a sneaking suspicion that despite nodding his head encouragingly, Ian’s focus was concentrated elsewhere. Mickey internally kicked himself each time he and Ian made eye contact. He instinctively thought of Taylor, and the words he hissed in Mickey’s ear just hours before. A pang of guilt shot through Mickey’s insides. He meant the words he said to Taylor as he spoke; he had no intentions of being with Ian. Every part of his brain knew that Ian could only lead to trouble.

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Mickey stood outside of the school gripping his cigarette in the crisp autumn air. As Back to School Night was wrapping up, Mickey hurriedly whispered to Svetlana and Yevgeny that he would meet them outside before making his quick exit out of the classroom. Mickey frustratingly lit his second cigarette as family after family breezed by him avoiding eye contact. Mickey paced back and forth wondering what was taking them so long. Finally, on cigarette number four, Svetlana and Yevgeny came striding out of the school into the parking lot.

“It’s about time. What the hell took so long in there?” Mickey impatiently asked.

“I wanted to ask Mr. Gallagher how Yevgeny was doing in classes, but there was a long wait. It seems Mr. Gallagher is a very popular teacher; the other parents love him,” Svetlana mentioned with a small smirk

“Is that so?” Mickey deadpanned.

“Yeah dad. Mr. Gallagher is so cool and nice! He even lets us have free time if all of our work is done. He’s better than all of the teachers at my other school,” Yevgeny exclaimed. Mickey gave Yev a small smile.

“Did you like my essay dad? I tried not to make it too sappy so I let everyone know how kickass you are,” Yevgeny looked at Mickey hopefully.

“There’s nothing wrong with ‘sappy’ Squirt. Anyway, I thought it was awesome. I was so proud of you tonight,” Mickey said as he ruffled Yevgeny’s hair playfully.

“Come on Yevgeny. Let’s get you to bed. You can see your papa when he picks you up from school tomorrow,” Svetlana said.

“Alright, bye dad. I had fun tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Yevgeny exclaimed as he and Svetlana walked through the parking lot towards their car.

Mickey nursed his last cigarette as he watched his ex-wife and son drive away. The bitter cold stung his ears, signaling his time to leave. Mickey wasn’t sure what rooted him to the spot for so long, but the consequences of his hesitance was quickly evident.

“Mickey….uhhhh Mr. Milkovich? Hey, I thought you would have left by now,” Ian remarked as he and about 6 other teachers were walking from the school.

“Yev just left with his mom. I was about to head out too after I finished my cigarette if that’s ok Mr. Gallagher,” Mickey replied.

“You guys have a good night. I’ll see you all tomorrow,” Ian told the group of teachers, signaling them to leave. The group walked away looking skeptically between Ian and Mickey as they climbed into their cars leaving the two men quite alone. Ian was glad for the opportunity to speak with Mickey privately.

 “So, I’m glad you came out tonight,” Ian started awkwardly.

“Of course I came out. I actually care about how Yevgeny does in school,” Mickey said scowling.

“I know you do Mick,” Ian said with a smirk.

“What’s the smile for? I didn’t come here for you. I wasn’t waiting for you,” Mickey flared up as he turned to walk to his car. Ian began to follow Mickey to the parking lot.

“I didn’t say you were. We’re going to run into each other a lot, but I don’t want it to be awkward or hostile every time we talk. I understand you were angry, but that’s why I apologized. I’m hoping we can be friends,” Ian admitted.

“Friends? You want to be friends? I don’t think we have ever been friends. We’ve been enemies, fuck buddies, lovers, and partners, but I don’t remember us ever being friends. I don’t see why we have to be friends now,” Mickey said bluntly.

“What do we have to lose by being friends?” Ian asked.

“I don’t know about you, but I have a lot to lose.”

“We just need to clear the air. We need one big drag out fight to fix everything,” Ian said.

“What? You wanna fight me Gallagher? Should we box in front of the school, or you wanna head to the playground and slap box like a couple of 12 year old girls?” Mickey asked as he stopped at his car door.

“No,” Ian shook his head seriously. “I mean I want us to say whatever it is we’re feeling toward each other. Every bit of anger or bitterness you’re feeling right now, I want you to just get it out,” Ian encouraged.

“What? Now?” Mickey questioned in disbelief. “Is this some of the touchy, feely bullshit you do in class now, or is this the new and improved Ian?”

“It’s both, and now is as good of a time as any, Mick. I’ll start; I think you’re being an asshole right now. I don’t know how many times you want me to apologize for what happened between us.”

“What happened is you dumped me when I was just trying to help you. Then you didn’t even have the balls to look me in the eye when you knew how I felt about you. That’s what happened, and now you’re calling me an asshole?” Mickey responded angrily.

“Yes. You’re being an asshole because you don’t even try to see it from my point of view. I was a 17 year old who was just diagnosed as Bipolar. I didn’t know what I was doing, how I felt about anything in my life, or what kind of future I could have without you or someone else taking care of me. I was used to taking care of shit for myself and then I had you and my family looking at me like a crazy mental patient,” Ian admitted.

“Don’t give me that bullshit. You know how you felt. I was figuring things out too. I had just come out to my piece of shit dad and the one person I had to go through that with is you. I wanted to return the favor and be there for you, but you couldn’t be bothered,” Mickey said bitterly.

“I was afraid. I loved you more than anything, but I couldn’t handle that level of a commitment with everything else in my life being so uncertain. Clearly, I can’t go back and fix everything, but I want us to at least be in a good place. You’re still important to me Mickey,” Ian reassured.

Mickey shook his head and, to Ian’s surprise, began laughing. “What’s so funny?” Ian asked

“You are, Gallagher. No wonder these dipshit parents lap up every word you say; you’re a hard one to stay angry with,” Mickey joked. Ian began to smile at Mickey’s lightened mood. “Listen, I get it alright,” Mickey said as he wiped his hand down his face tiredly. “We don’t have to keep talking about this. I don’t know about being all buddy-buddy and shit, but the situation can be fine as far as I’m concerned,” Mickey relented. Ian gave a smile of understanding that made Mickey’s heart race. He couldn’t help but to kick himself for not maintaining a level of anger or hurt that the red-head had bestowed upon him. Was it true that Ian still cared about him? All of that anger and hurt was beginning to melt into something that Mickey wasn’t ready to face. He tried his hardest to deflect.

“Hope you’re not spouting that soft shit to my kid in class. If Yev starts telling me to share my feelings, I’m going to have to come back here and knock your ass out,” Mickey joked.

“Whatever Mickey,” Ian rolled his eyes and playfully shoved Mickey’s shoulder. Mickey smiled as he leapt forward to retaliate. As Mickey’s hand rested on Ian’s chest to shove him softly backward, it was instantly grabbed by Ian’s. Before Mickey could register what happened, Ian gripped his arm and pulled Mickey into a bruising kiss. Mickey instinctively responded, parting his lips for Ian’s penetrating tongue. Mickey took care to breathe in Ian’s intoxicating scent as Ian’s hands gripped the side of his face. Ian began pushing Mickey back against his car door. Mickey desperately grappled at Ian’s button up shirt, pulling it free from his pants. Mickey proceeded to feel as much of Ian’s soft skin as he could. Ian began grinding his quickly stiffening cock against Mickey’s right leg. Mickey could not help but groan at the feeling of Ian so close to him after such a long time. Ian pushed Mickey’s roaming hands away and turned him quickly to face the window of his car. Mickey placed his hands on the hood of the car as Ian reached in Mickey’s slacks to grab his throbbing cock. Mickey hissed as Ian began stroking his dick and breathing heavily against his ear. Mickey’s brain flashed to just a few short hours earlier when he was in this same position with Taylor.

“Fuck!!!” Mickey exclaimed as he pounded the top of his car with his closed fist. Mickey removed Ian’s hands and quickly shoved him back with his elbow.

“Get the fuck off of me Gallagher,” Mickey yelled. A dazed Ian stumbled backwards. As Mickey turned to look at him, Ian’s eyes spelled his confusion. Mickey found it difficult to look at Ian’s pleading expression.

“Look I’m sorry…I can’t,” Mickey began exasperatedly.

“It’s ok Mickey. Just talk to me,” Ian approached.

“I can’t…” were all of the words Mickey could muster. As he got into his car and began to pull away, all he could see in his rearview mirror was Ian rooted to the spot.

“Fuck, fuck, fucking shit…” Mickey yelled as he pounded the steering wheel while heading home.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch. 4

Ian stared fixedly at the chipped edge of his sister’s kitchen table. As the smell of his uneaten eggs and pancakes wafted through his nose, Ian broke from his trance. He turned to find his older sister Fiona staring at him with a trademark look of concern. Ian’s older brother Lip also stared over his coffee mug looking deceptively aloof as usual.

“What Fiona?” Ian asked exasperatedly.

“Don’t ‘what’ me. You come over to visit us and have breakfast. Only, you’ve barely said two words, and you haven’t touched your food. How are you doing with your meds?” Fiona questioned.

“Not everything is always about my meds alright? Can’t a guy just be quiet and be perfectly fine?” Ian asked.

“A normal guy, yes. You, no. You always have something simmering in that head of yours when you look that way,” Fiona retorted.

“Yeah, did some guy forget to shake your hand after an all-night fuck session again?” Lip deadpanned.

“Shut up,” Ian exclaimed while throwing a nearly empty syrup bottle at his older brother’s head.

“I think I struck a nerve Fi,” Lip smirked. “I thought you gave up trolling for ass in boys’ town,” Lip prodded.

“Is this about that guy you were dating…Jared or whatever,” Fiona asked.

“No, it’s about Mickey,” Ian sighed heavily not looking at his brother and sister.

“MICKEY?” Fiona and Lip shouted simultaneously.

“THE Mickey? As in, Mickey Milkovich?” Fiona exclaimed.

“Well that’s the last thing I expected to hear,” Lip explained.

“Yes, that Mickey. His son, Yevgeny, is in my class this year, and we’ve been talking,” Ian admitted.

“Talking? What the fuck does that mean?” Lip questioned.

“We haven’t seen each other since he went away to prison. I went to visit him once, but I hadn’t seen him since. Then, a few weeks ago, he and Yevgeny just pop into my classroom,” Ian explained.

“A few weeks ago? Then why is it a problem now?” Fiona asked.

“We sort of hooked up a little bit last night. We didn’t have sex, but I kissed him. He was into it at first, but he pushed me away and took off.”

“Ian, sweetie, I’m so sorry. You and Mickey have been down this road before though, and it didn’t work out. What made you kiss him?”

“I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ve been trying to talk to him because I didn’t want there to be any animosity between us. He, Svetlana, and Yevgeny came to the school last night and when Svetlana and Yevgeny left, I just wanted to make sure he was okay. That we were okay. It just sort of happened,” Ian said sheepishly.  
  
“So you still love Mickey,” Lip stated in a matter of fact tone.

“It’s a little more complicated than that, Lip,” Ian said annoyed.

“No, it’s really not. Why else are you pressing so hard to be friends with this guy? You don’t have to make sure that he’s okay or that you two are ‘okay’, or peachy, or honky dory or whatever the fuck else you want to call it. You broke up with him nearly a decade ago and then never went to visit him. Now you two are going to be best friends? Don’t kid yourself Ian. Whether it’s guilt, love, lust, or just you being fucking crazy…whatever it is, you can’t get him out of your system,” Lip explained.

“Okay fine. I’m not over him yet. Then what the fuck am I supposed to do if he doesn’t want anything to do with me? I can’t blame him. I fucked things up for us and now…you should see the look on his face whenever he sees me now. He hates me,” Ian finished.

“Ian, I’m sure he doesn’t hate you. He probably doesn’t know how to feel…just like you. That’s a lot of emotional shit for both of you to go through in just a few weeks. Stop beating yourself up for something that happened eight years ago. Just give him a little time to get used to you being back in his life,” Fiona reassured

“I can do that. If time is what Mickey needs, then time is what I’ll give him.

 

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Mickey could barely concentrate at work that day. Luckily he was at the auto shop with very few cars to fix. His mind kept replaying the previous day’s events over and over. Ian kissed him, and he didn’t see it coming. Mickey thought about Ian’s soft lips kissing his and his nimble fingers stroking his member. It was the most alive Mickey had felt in a very long time. Mickey tried his hardest not to throw tools across the garage in anger.  Ian was crawling his way into his brain again, taking over everything. Mickey wasn’t sure if Ian was the disease or the cure, but either way he felt consumed by the very idea of him. As expected, Mickey thought of Taylor. Taylor’s worst crime so far was to be a little possessive over someone whom he perceived to be his committed boyfriend. Just twenty-four hours ago, Mickey was convincing Taylor that he was paranoid, but now, he realized, Taylor had a very valid point. Mickey couldn’t be around Ian for five minutes without them trying to tear each other’s’ clothes off. Just as he was debating whether to tell Taylor about what happened, he walked through the door with a cup of coffee in hand.

“Mickey, your boyfriend’s here,” Tim, one of the other mechanics, yelled through the garage.

“Yeah, thanks shit-breath,” Mickey said to Tim’s mischievous face.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Mickey asked, accepting his hot coffee.

“You didn’t come over last night, so I wanted to come and see you this morning,” Taylor said.

“Thanks. The school thing ran late, so I just wanted to get home and crash,” Mickey lied.

“Ok, so did you have a good time?” Taylor prodded.

“It was a fucking school event for third graders. It wasn’t exactly a Breed concert. We went in, looked at Yevgeny’s school projects, listened to a bunch of boring school administrators, and then we left,” Mickey said, avoiding eye contact with Taylor.

“Ok, listen I’m working a little late tonight, but why don’t you come over for dinner?”

“Yeah, alright,” Mickey said.

“Don’t sound too excited about it, dick,” Taylor said annoyed.

Mickey rolled his eyes before quickly pecking Taylor’s lips. “I’ll see you tonight…can’t wait.”

Taylor turned to walk away looking appeased by Mickey’s words. Mickey anxiously rubbed his brow as he watched Taylor exit the auto garage. He bit his lip nervously contemplating his next move. Before he could second guess himself, he put down his tools and grabbed his phone from his pocket. Mickey continued to bite his lip as the phone rang.

“Mickey? Hey, what’s up?” Ian questioned on the other end of the phone.

“Can you meet me at Angelo’s Diner in about an hour and a half?”

“Yeah sure, I’ll see you soon,” Ian said quickly.

“Alright, bye,” Mickey hung up before slipping his phone back into his pocket.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Ian paced in the diner parking lot in front of his car. He had seen Mickey walking in when he pulled up so he decided to wait a minute before strolling in himself. Fiona’s voice echoed in his head. The last thing Ian wanted to do was seem desperate to Mickey after Mickey had already rejected him. Although, Ian was curious at what Mickey had to say after his odd behavior the previous night. Ian steeled himself and walked through the door. He immediately spotted Mickey sitting towards the back of the nearly empty diner. Ian’s stomach felt heavy as he viewed Mickey staring fixedly at his hands.

“Hey man,” Mickey said as he saw Ian walking towards the table to sit down.

“Hey Mick,” Ian said stoically as he pulled in his chair.

“So how’s it going,” Mickey asked awkwardly.

“You going to tell me how great the weather is next? I’ve never known you to be one for small talk Mickey,” Ian smiled.

Mickey rolled his eyes and smiled for the first time since the previous night. Ian took notice that Mickey’s pale cheeks turned slightly pink as he gave Ian the finger.

“Alright smart guy, I’ll just get right to the point. This can’t happen,” Mickey said as he gestured between the two of them.

Before Ian had a chance to respond, they were interrupted by the waitress. “Good afternoon gents. Is there anything I can get for you today?”

“Just a cup of coffee for me please,” Mickey responded.

“I’ll have the same and a slice of your blueberry pie,” Ian said.

“Alright, coming right up,” the waitress said cheerfully.

As she exited, Ian returned his gaze toward Mickey. He wanted to say ‘ok Mickey,’ or ‘I agree Mickey,’ but the words just would not form. He shut out the voice in his head that sounded very much like Fiona telling him to ease back. Ian was tired of pulling back, suggesting that they just be friends, and accepting Mickey’s continued hostility without any explanation.

“Fuck that,” Ian said sternly. “It’s already happening, and if you’re telling me that it can’t keep happening then I need you to tell me why.”

“I’ll tell you exactly why,” Mickey said flaring up. “I have a boyfriend, someone who loves and cares about me very much. And not just that, what if Yevgeny found out? How would I explain our relationship to Yev? He’s going to see you in our house after a session of fucking and then in the classroom the next day? Also, we’ve already talked about how this just can’t work. It didn’t work the first time, so why would I risk those two relationships for someone who has already left me high and dry? So no, it’s not going to happen,” Mickey finished with forced determination.

Ian’s face was turning a scary shade of scarlet, but was once again interrupted from responding when the waitress returned with their coffee. “Here you go. Now is there anything else I can get for you two handsome gents?” the waitress inquired.

“NO” Ian and Mickey said louder than they meant to, not breaking eye contact from one another.

“Well alright then. I’ll just leave you to it,” the waitress said clearly taken aback.

“You know what Mickey, if this was just twenty-four hours ago I would have believed all of the horseshit you’re giving me now. You can’t keep throwing our breakup in my face. And so what if you have a boyfriend? I could respect that if just a few short hours ago you weren’t doing your best to pop the button on my pants. I can still taste you Mickey. My fingers are still tingling from holding your cock just last night. You can’t tell me you don’t feel it too. I’ll walk away right now if you can honestly say that you haven’t been thinking about me.”

Mickey pounded his fist on the table making his untouched coffee ripple in its mug. He had that feeling again…his mouth and his mind just couldn’t work together to form the right thoughts. Why was it so hard to stay away from Ian? What did the previous night mean to him? Was it the heat of the moment, lingering feelings, nostalgia, or something Mickey couldn’t even admit to at this point?

“You know I can’t say that Gallagher,” Mickey admitted. Mickey stared at Ian’s hands resting on the table. He gave in to his compulsion, reached out and interlocked his fingers with Ian’s. Ian stroked Mickey’s hands lightly, amazed at how such a gruff person could have such soft skin.

“That boyfriend of yours, what’s his name?” Ian asked softly.

“It’s Taylor,” Mickey answered relishing the feeling of Ian’s firm hands.

“Do you love him?” Ian asked softly.

“Ian, don’t do this…” Mickey began.

“Does he touch you like I do?” Ian interrupted as he brought his hand forward to stroke the side of Mickey’s cheek. Mickey’s breath stuttered at their contact.

“Ian, please…” were the only words Mickey could speak. Ian’s thumb grazed the edge of Mickey’s soft lips begging for entrance. Mickey took the hint and consumed Ian’s appendage. Mickey savored the digit, sucking back and forth. Ian’s cock hardened instantly. Unable to help himself any longer, he leaned over the table as far as he could to devour Mickey’s delicate lips. Mickey tightly gripped the back of Ian’s hair in a frenzy as the two former lovers became desperate for proximity. With their tongues dueling and teeth gnashing against each other, the two men’s grunts of desire began to draw attention from the few other patrons. The sheepish waitress approached them, doing her best to be heard.

“EXCUSE ME! You two are going to have to take it outside. Unfortunately, some of our other customers have complained about the noise,” she finished while staring around nervously.

Ian and Mickey broke apart with the weight of their actions dawning on them slowly. Ian took care to cover his obvious hard on while Mickey began to smooth back his disheveled hair and clothes. They both proceeded to drop several dollars on the table to cover their tab before strolling out of the door together. Before Mickey could head to his car, Ian dragged him to the back of the building and pushed him against the wall.

“Take off your pants,” Ian demanded before capturing Mickey’s lips once again. Before Mickey could protest, he was enthralled by the hint of blueberries intensifying the pleasure Ian’s mouth provided. Mickey weakly tried to stop.

“Gallagher, we really need to quit,” Mickey said unconvincingly between kisses.

“Feel what you do to me Mickey,” Ian said as he firmly placed Mickey’s hand on his bulging cock. “No one else has this kind of effect on me. I want you,” Ian ground out as he began taking down Mickey’s zipper. Mickey quickly responded in kind by taking a hold of Ian’s slacks. Despite the cool fall air around them, Mickey could feel himself growing warmer by the minute. He turned his body toward the brick wall of the diner as Ian wet two of his fingers in his mouth. Slowly, Ian slid his two fingers inside Mickey’s channel, stretching him tortuously.

“I’ve thought about you so many times over the years Mickey. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I’ve missed you. I’ve missed us,” Ian whispered softly. Mickey could only hiss his pleasure in return.

“You gonna write me a sonnet next Firecrotch, or are you gonna fuck me?” Mickey teased as he stroked his cock.

“You’re about to find out tough guy,” Ian warned before slowly sliding into him. Mickey and Ian let out simultaneous sighs of satisfaction. It was all Ian could do not to cum then and there. He savored the warm, welcoming space as he placed his forehead to the back of Mickey’s head. The need for a hurried fuck like so many one night stands was non-existent for the eager red-head. Despite the situation and location, Ian could tell that Mickey felt the same. Slowly, Ian stroked and bucked his hips against the brunette that he had craved for so long. Mickey balled his fists and hit the brick wall; whether out of pleasure of the amazing sensations or frustration at his betrayal he wasn’t sure which. Perhaps it was a mixture of both. However, just as he had done with Ian a few nights before, Mickey now banished Taylor’s face from his thoughts choosing to live in the overwhelming moment. After more than eight long years he was reunited with Ian. Ian noticed the tension building in Mickey and took that moment to grab his fists, interlocking Mickey’s hands with his. Whatever emotions he was going through, Ian wanted to go through them as well. Mickey visibly let go of his tension and frustration and felt as much of Ian as he could. Their heavy breathing and low grunts began to pick up speed as Ian could no longer control his pace. Faster and faster he stroked as Mickey’s breath became hitched. Ian took hold of Mickey’s stiff cock willing the two of them to cum together. Just as Mickey reached his inevitable climax, Ian followed close behind. The two stayed in their positions for several long moments, attempting to catch their breaths. After breaking apart, Mickey quickly began looking around and adjusting his clothes again, suddenly fearful of being seen.

“I want you to come to my place tonight for dinner. Are you free?” Ian questioned as he began straightening his clothes as well.

Mickey remained silent for a few moments before answering, “I can’t. I told Taylor I would meet him tonight.”

Ian looked over annoyed and confused. “Are you going to tell him? You should tell him you’re splitting up with him. It’s the right thing to do,” Ian explained.

“The right thing to do? You didn’t seem so concerned with morality five minutes ago with your dick in my ass,” Mickey retorted. “It’s not that simple. I don’t know what I’m going to say.”

“But you are splitting up with him, right?” Ian asked, his temper flaring.

“Look, Gallagher. I don’t know. I can’t just throw away a six-month relationship after one fuck. It doesn’t work that way,” Mickey argued.

“You can’t seriously be thinking about going back to this guy after what we just had!”

“Always with the fucking dramatics, Ian! This isn’t a fucking soap opera. Don’t make such a big deal out of everything,” Mickey yelled.

“So, that was just a fuck to you? You just needed to get laid?” Ian asked.

“You know it’s not that Gallagher. I meant what I said,”

“What you said? You haven’t said anything. I’ve been doing all of the talking, all of the apologizing, all of the begging!” Ian exclaimed. “Do you want to be with me or not?”

“I don’t know how to answer that,” Mickey admitted.

“You know what…. go fuck yourself Mickey,” Ian responded as he turned to walk back down the alley towards his car.


	5. I'll Keep Holding On Ch. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this chapter is kind of all over the place, but I just needed to get it out there and be done with it. I'm thinking one more chapter after this to finish out the story. Thank you to everyone who has read and/or reviewed. That was definitely a motivation to keep going.

Ian felt dazed at the sound of loud, thumping music and hordes of men desperate for a hookup. The recent frustrations Ian felt about his seemingly doomed love life had him rushing to familiar surroundings. Boys’ Town was always a refuge for Ian. Despite some toxic habits that Ian had long since given up, the different clubs provided him with a safe haven that the Southside of Chicago never afforded him. Ian brooded in a corner booth with his fellow teacher, Anthony. Ian and Anthony became fast friends after Ian confirmed his sneaking suspicion that he and his coworker had a few common interests. When Ian awkwardly gauged the subject, Anthony unabashedly made his orientation clear. Then, quickly assured Ian that he was not his type. Anthony was a short, squat science teacher who had a predilection towards big, burly, muscular men that Ian could not exactly satisfy, but the two coworkers quickly bonded.

 Sitting in the sticky leather booth at the Fairy Tail was proving to be an unsatisfying venture for Ian. After passing up one eager idiot after another, Ian took to ordering shot after shot of Tequila while Anthony danced the night away. He was hoping to push thoughts of Mickey out of his mind with a hot little Otter to take home, but the selection seemed a bit slim. Instead, Ian found nothing but slimy divorcees and entitled college kids looking to have their first gay experience. No one seemed to have the menacing intensity or candid charm that Mickey made so appealing. Ian passed them all up in favor of one drink after another. Finally, a sweating Anthony tore himself away from the dance floor to check on a frowning Ian.

“C’mon Ian. Don’t you at least want to dance a little? The music is really going tonight,” Anthony said excitedly as he fanned himself from the heat.

“Nah, you go do fun with those guys,” Ian began to slur.

“My audience can wait. I already got their phone numbers anyway. Why don’t I take you home? You look like you’ve had enough for the night,” Anthony suggested.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to fun your spoil,” Ian tried to explain.

“Yeah let’s get out of here.” Anthony helped a struggling Ian out of the booth and waded through the thick crowd toward the door.

As they stood outside waiting for their Uber car to pull up, Ian began muttering. “Why doesn’t he love me?”

“What? Who are you talking about?” Anthony asked trying to shield the smell of Ian’s liquor breath.

“Mickey. No matter how hard I try to tell him sorry, he still doesn’t love me. I mean, I don’t wanna brag, but I’m pretty freakin’ lovable….so why doesn’t he want t’be wit me?” Ian pondered.

“Alright, don’t flatter yourself there red. You’re a good guy, but maybe this Mickey is just scared,” Anthony guessed. The Uber car pulled up before Ian could contemplate what his friend had to say. Anthony helped Ian inside so he wouldn’t bump his head. After getting situated in the backseat and taking off, Ian responded.

“He doesn’t have to be afraid of me. You afraid of me? Mr. Uber driver, do I make you afraid,” Ian asked getting strange looks from everyone in the vehicle. “No. I can’t even get my third graders to be afraid of me, so why would Mickey be afraid to be with me? He’s toughest mother fucker I know,” Ian rattled on.

“Well that’s good to know Ian,” Anthony said playfully rolling his eyes. “….but what I meant was this guy might be afraid of getting hurt. Trust me, I know from experience. Even if you are a tough mother fucker, it just takes one little punk to break your heart and all that tough shit goes right out of the window. Not that I’m calling you a punk, but it would take a lot for _me_ to face something like that again,” Anthony admitted. “Maybe this Mickey guy isn’t as tough as you make him out to be.”

“Maybe Fiona’s right. I should give Mickey space,” Ian said to no one in particular.

“If you apologized then you’ve said everything that needs to be said. Now it’s up to him to figure out what he wants,” Anthony advised.

“Yeah, you’re right. Goodnight Mickey,” Ian said before passing out onto Anthony’s arm in the backseat. Anthony heaved a heavy sigh and rolled his eyes again, wondering how he was going to carry his drunk friend up the stairs to his apartment.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>> 

It had been two weeks since Mickey had seen Ian. He only caught a glimpse of Ian getting into his car when Mickey picked Yevgeny up from school one Wednesday afternoon. He wanted badly to wave Ian down and talk to him, but knew it was neither the time nor the place. Mickey felt like he was slowly going crazy. Things had always been black and white in Mickey’s world until that little flash of red threw his entire life out of whack. Even when he was a scared teenager denying who he was, Mickey knew his heart belonged with Ian. Now, things felt complicated. His impulse was to be with Ian; to touch him, hold him, kiss him, or even just to hear the sound of his voice. However, Mickey wasn’t sure if he could handle the risk involved. How would Yevgeny feel about his father being in a relationship with his teacher? If Mickey did decide to be with Ian, how soon would Ian cheat on him, or decide that Mickey isn’t what he wants? Also, being with Ian would mean ending a relationship with the first person, outside of Yevgeny, who made Mickey feel human again after prison. Even if their relationship was far from perfect, Taylor meant a lot to Mickey. There were nights where Mickey woke up screaming and in a cold sweat thinking he was back in prison, but Taylor was there to calm him down. Yevgeny had yet to warm up to Taylor, but he remained a fixture in Mickey’s life.

Having to face Taylor again after sleeping with Ian was much more difficult than he anticipated. He found himself becoming increasingly temperamental and impatient. After he and Ian had sex, Mickey planned to tell Taylor the truth that night at dinner. For some reason, though, he couldn’t bring himself to admit to what he had done. Mickey wasn’t sure why, but he couldn’t reveal his feelings. As badly as he wanted to hold on to the relationship that he and Taylor shared, he became oddly resentful of Taylor just for being around him. Taylor, feeling the hostility, spent fewer nights with Mickey.

Instead of fixing the situation, Mickey chose to spend his additional free time hanging out with Yevgeny. After a couple of hours of gaming, Mickey and Yevgeny headed out to the grocery store to stock up for the coming week.

“Dad, can we get Cap’n Crunch?” Yevgeny asked as they strolled through the extensive cereal aisle.

“No, pick up that bland shit your mom likes. I don’t want to keep having this conversation,” Mickey argued.

“Dad, pleeeeeeaaaaaaseeeee?” Yevgeny whined “C’mon, the box will be gone before mom even knows that we had any,” Yevgeny begged his father with pleading eyes. Mickey rolled his eyes, unable to resist the requests of his son.

“Alright, fine. Jesus. Enough already. Throw some Frosted Flakes in there too,” Mickey conceded. “Just don’t tell your mom, or I’ll have to hear her big mouth about how I’m ruining your health.”

As they shuffled down the pasta aisle taking turns to push the cart, Mickey halted to a full stop. Yevgeny, confused by his father’s sudden pause, turned in the direction of Mickey’s gaze. Before Mickey could convince Yevgeny to turn back around, Yev shouted across the aisle to his teacher.

“Mr. Gallagher! Mr. Gallagher, come over here!” Yevgeny yelled excitedly.

Ian whipped his head around in surprise to see Yevgeny waving his hand, motioning for him to come over. He then glanced to his left to see Mickey turning paler every second. On the contrary, Ian could feel his face turn red. He slowly made his way towards Mickey and Yev, forgetting to put back the linguini box he was holding. The last time he looked at Mickey’s face there was that same desperate look of avoidance. Mickey wanted to avoid their situation and their feelings. Now, that they were face to face with Yevgeny sitting on the sidelines, it was going to be difficult for Ian to ignore him.

“Hi Yevgeny, it’s so good to see you. How is everything?” Ian said awkwardly.

“You just saw me yesterday Mr. Gallagher. Everything is still good,” Yevgeny said rolling his eyes. “I wanted you to come say hi to my dad. You haven’t seen him since that night at school. We’re hanging out today. We’ve been playing video games all morning, and I beat him so bad. Do you play videogames Mr. Gallagher? You should come play with us. I bet you could beat my dad too. He sucks,” Yevgeny began teasing. Ian couldn’t help but to smirk at Yevgeny’s innocent rambling.

“Ok, first of all you only beat me a few times, but I beat you way more,” Mickey said defensively. “Anyway, I’m sure Mr. Gallagher doesn’t want to play videogames with us. He probably has more important things to do…papers to grade and shit,” Mickey said looking at Ian curiously.

“No, I have time. I’m just picking up some pasta for my house. Clearly I have nothing better going on. Are you just afraid of getting beaten by your son and his teacher Mr. Milkovich?” Ian asked with a defiant smile.

Mickey broke out into a grin, “Oh yeah, Gallagher? We’ll see how tough you are when I’m whooping your ass at _Mass Effect 3,_ Army,” Mickey challenged.

“Oh really? Just a second ago you were quaking in your converse. Now, you seem pretty confident you can take me down,” Ian prodded jokingly.

“Well, I hear you can be a sore loser when you don’t get what you want. Taking a couple of losses might help you deal with rejection better,” Mickey provoked.

“I need to learn how to deal with rejection? I think you have that backwards Mr. Milkovich. I’ll tell you what, maybe after I beat you a few times, I’ll let you win…just so you can feel like a ‘big man’ Champ,” Ian said edgily.

Yevgeny looked back and forth between his father and his teacher. He knew his dad to be slightly competitive, but he had never seen him challenge someone so openly. Yevgeny was even more surprised, and slightly impressed with Mr. Gallagher. He had thought his teacher to be nice, but kind of a soft spoken wimp. Never before had Yevgeny felt so much tension between two people.

“You must really love video games Mr. Gallagher. I’ve never seen you so pumped before. Can you come over now? It’ll be awesome!” Yevgeny said getting more and more excited for their afternoon.

“Yeah Mr. Gallagher. Why don’t you meet us at my place in an hour? Although, my apartment’s not that big. Your ego might have to wait outside,” Mickey warned.

“Not a problem. I’ll see you soon. Be ready. Goodbye Yevgeny,” Ian said as he gave a smile to Yev and brusquely brushed past Mickey.

The car ride home was filled with a scary anticipation for what was to come. Mickey could feel his son’s eyes burning a hole in the side of his face. “What is it Squirt?” Mickey asked, surprised at his son’s restraint.

“Are you excited about Mr. Gallagher coming to hang out with us?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“You didn’t tell him the address. How is he going to know where we live?” Yevgeny questioned.

“He’ll figure it out. He’s a teacher; they know all kinds of shit about their students.”

“Why did you call him Army? What does that mean? Did Mr. Gallagher tell you he was in the Army?”

“It’s just a name. He was acting like a tough guy, so I called him Army.”

“Are you two mad at each other? It seemed like you were really trying to get under his skin. You and mom don’t even go back and forth that way, and I’ve heard you two call each other all kinds of names.”

Mickey began to shift slightly in the driver’s seat. He hadn’t meant to engage Ian that way in front of Yevgeny, but Ian just brought it out of him. He couldn’t help himself. “I don’t know Squirt. Your teacher’s got more balls than I thought he would,” Mickey said smiling to himself at Ian’s bravado.

“Do you like him?” Yevgeny asked curiously.

“Fuck does that mean? We invited him to play videogames didn’t we? He just seems like an alright guy.”

“No, I mean do you like him like you like Taylor. Do you wanna kiss him?” Yevgeny asked, scanning his father’s face.

Mickey, stunned by the question, nearly veered off the road. “Why would I want to kiss Mr. Gallagher? Can’t your pop just make a new friend?” Mickey asked.

“Of course you can dad. It’s just, I’ve seen you with some of your friends. I’ve seen you with a lot of people, and you never look at any of them like that. Not even Taylor. Just thought I’d ask because if you do want to kiss him, just let me know and I’ll put in a good word for you,” Yevgeny confidently informed his dad.

“Oh yeah? You have clout with Mr. Gallagher?”

“Yeah, I’m his favorite student. He can’t say that, but I know I’m his favorite.

Mickey couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face. He was unable to put it into words, but suddenly his heart felt lighter.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Ian’s heart was racing so fast, he felt he might be sick. After two weeks of not speaking with Mickey he was about to sit down for a ‘fun’ afternoon of videogames. ‘What the hell did I get myself into?’ Ian thought to himself after knocking on the door. He quickly wiped his sweaty palms before Mickey had the chance to open the door. Ian was spared the embarrassment of an awkward greeting when Yevgeny stood before him instead. Ian quickly looked down and smiled at his precocious student.

“Hey Yevgeny! Is it ok if I come in?” Ian asked tentatively.

“Yeah sure Mr. Gallagher. I’m just getting the game set up, and dad is bringing snacks from the kitchen. He must really want to impress you. Dad never puts out food for anyone,” Yevgeny whispered loudly.

“Yo Squirt, shut your face and get the game ready,” Mickey called out as he carried in a bowl of potato chips, a case of beer, and a bowl of pretzels.

“Oh, you are so going down dad! Put those chips down and come take a beating,” Yevgeny laughed excitedly. “Mr. Gallagher, you have to sit on the couch with my dad. I have to sit in my lucky gaming chair or else I lose,” Yevgeny announced. Ian eyed the close quarters of the couch he would be sharing with Mickey. The last time they had been that close, Ian wasn’t able to keep his hands to himself.

“Hey man. Just have a seat wherever. I’ll let you play the game first with the kid before you warm up to the main event Gallagher,” Mickey smirked as he flopped down onto the couch in front of the television.

“I see you haven’t lost any of your confidence huh Mick?” Ian mused.  

“You have to be confident when you look as good as I do,” Mickey said with a small wink to Ian.

“Brains and beauty? Well it looks like I’m in for a treat this afternoon,” Ian deadpanned.

Yevgeny was about to hand the second controller to his teacher when he noticed Mickey and Mr. Gallagher staring at each other. Yevgeny wondered if it had been the trick of the light, or just his imagination, but he could have sworn Mr. Gallagher and his dad were into each other. He had never seen Mr. Gallagher’s cheeks so pink. No. No way. The only person that dad was into was his stupid boyfriend Taylor, and he never even looked at him that way.

“Here you go Mr. Gallagher,” Yevgeny said loudly to get his attention. Ian turned his gaze away from Mickey feeling slightly embarrassed. As he grabbed the controller from Yevgeny, he kicked himself mentally. It was one thing to flirt with Mickey, but it was quite another to do so while Mickey’s son (and his student), was sitting three feet away. Mickey seemed to have the same idea, Ian noticed, as he shifted away to the other end of the couch.

 

The next five hours flew by faster than Ian realized. He had more fun with Yevgeny and Mickey than he had in years. Between the trash-talking, ordering pizza, trying his best to let Yevgeny win and making sure Mickey lost, Ian was having the time of his life. Ian, not for the first time, was able to sit back and admire what an amazing relationship Mickey and Yevgeny had. Yevgeny had nothing but love, respect, and reverence for his father, and although Mickey joked around, he treated Yevgeny as his most prized possession. A few minutes before, Mickey carried a sleeping Yevgeny to his bedroom for the night. Seeing Mickey so protective and caring was causing Ian to feel things he didn’t want to feel. Ian wanted to hang on to some of the frustration he had with Mickey over his refusal to commit, but it was incredibly difficult for him. Mickey had grown into a responsible, caring, upstanding person. It seemed as though his only flaw was not wanting to be with Ian. Ian’s stomach lurched at the thought, and he could feel the tears threatening to form in his eyes. He shook it off and quickly stood up just looking for something to do.

“Are you leaving already?” Mickey asked as he closed the door to Yevgeny’s bedroom. Ian looked around searching for an excuse to leave.

“I think I should go Mick,” Ian said without confidence.

“Do you really need to leave, or do you just want to get away from me?” Mickey asked moving towards Ian.

“Don’t start shit tonight, Mick. I had a really good time. If we’re going to be friends, the best thing for me to do now is leave,” Ian said a bit more firmly.

“Is that what we decided to be? Friends?” Mickey asked as he began inching closer and closer to Ian.

“We didn’t decide anything, but that might be the best thing to do considering our situation,” Ian said nervously as he backed away from Mickey’s growing presence.

“The last time I checked, we left things a little open-ended, and I just want to make things clear,” Mickey said, his voice hoarse as he stared Ian up and down. Ian felt his back hit the wall near the kitchen.

“Mick,” Ian began weakly as Mickey’s hand crept up the hem of his shirt. Ian had a sharp intake of breath. As Mickey’s warm hands reached everywhere they could, Ian had a moment of clarity. He had tried so hard to convince Mickey to be in his life. Now that Mickey was more than giving in, Ian was confused at his own resistance.  Then it became clear; he didn’t want just part of Mickey. He wanted everything; the touching, the kissing, the caressing, the weekends at home with Mickey and Yevgeny, and the little moments of every day. He craved all that Mickey had to offer.

“I want you Ian,” Mickey whispered to Ian. “I want you badly, and nothing else will do. I have to admit, these last couple of weeks without you have got me thinking….I can feel you under my skin every day. All I think about is you. Do you still want me?”

Ian could feel Mickey’s breath across his lips. His resistance was crumbling quickly as he stared in Mickey’s hungry eyes. Ian sprung forward capturing Mickey’s lips in a bruising, searing kiss. Ian needed more, and he was determined to get as much as possible. He took Mickey by surprise, forcing the shorter man back against the wall. Ian continued the assault on his lips.

As Mickey made a grab to unbutton Ian’s pants, his hands were pushed away. “No,” Ian said forcefully. Mickey laughed in surprise, confused at Ian’s denial. Ian continued to kiss Mickey hungrily, caressing his soft cheeks. Mickey made another attempt at unsheathing Ian’s cock, but Ian shoved his hands away again, pinning them to his sides. “No, Mick. You don’t get my dick tonight,” Ian hissed defiantly.  

Mickey stared at Ian, taken aback. “Is this about Yevgeny? He’s asleep; a herd of wild bulls couldn’t wake him up right now,” Mickey assured him.

“This is about you and me,” Ian said as he lightly cupped Mickey’s balls through his pants. Mickey hissed at Ian’s sudden action.

“I think I’ve proven over and over that I want you Mick,” Ian said. He kissed him softly, slowly taking care to swirl his tongue lightly around Mickey’s. Ian smoothly slid down the zipper of Mickey’s jeans and carefully removed his bulging cock.  “I’ve tried to show you over and over again that you’re the one I want to be with,” Ian whispered softly against Mickey’s ear as he began stroking his cock slowly. Mickey let out a low, guttural moan that struck Ian to his core.

“We’ve been through a lot Mick,” Ian continued to whisper. “I’ve hurt you and you’ve hurt me. That cycle has continued far too many times.” Ian could feel Mickey’s slick juices begin to pour from the tip of his cock. He brushed his thumb over the head lightly and picked up speed. “….but no matter how much we’ve hurt each other, there’s no one who has loved me as much as you have. I’ve never felt this way about anyone else, Mick.” Ian continued to pick up speed as Mickey’s eyes grew wider. Mickey grabbed handfuls of Ian’s shirt just to keep his composure. “I know that I hurt you Mick, but I need you to do something for me…” Ian began.

“Anything, I’ll do anything,” Mickey choked out hoarsely.

“I need you to choose,” Ian said simply. Mickey looked up at Ian with pleading eyes. “Ian…please….just…huuhhh.”

Ian’s heart pounded in his chest looking at Mickey so vulnerable…so close to the edge. He didn’t want to walk away, but he knew that he had to.

“I’ll respect your decision either way, but I can’t keep doing this,” Ian admitted. He stroked faster and faster as his voice became softer and softer. “I want all of you Mick, and I won’t settle for second best. You can have all of me Mickey…when you’re ready.” With this, Ian placed a soft kiss to Mickey’s exposed neck. At Ian’s last words Mickey surged forward with his orgasm ripping through him. Mickey grabbed the back of Ian’s neck, pulling him into a hug. Ian wasn’t sure if it was out of pure emotion or just to steady himself after cumming. Either way, he breathed in as much of Mickey as he possibly could; savoring him in case it was the last time that they were together. Ian wasn’t sure how long they stood there in silence, but he gripped the back of Mickey’s hair, refusing to let go. Once he let go of him Mickey would have to make a choice, and Ian was deathly afraid that Mickey wouldn’t choose him.

Sooner than Ian would have liked, the two men were inadvertently pulled apart by the sound of a key in the door. Seconds later, Ian was staring into the eyes of a tall blonde man who looked surprised, and then incredibly pissed.

“You must be Taylor. Hi. I’m Ian.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic for Shameless (and for Mickey and Ian)...posted here and on fanfiction.net. It will be a multi-chapter. It's based on a few things; my love of Mickey, my anger at Ian for moving on so quickly (I still love him though), and the song Holding Back the Years by Simply Red. Constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated.


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